<span class="SFPTagline"> From SCIFIPEDIA </span>

Gentlemen, Be Seated is a science fiction short story, written by Robert A. Heinlein. It was first published in the May 1948 issue of Argosy, and is included in Heinlein's 1951 short story collection The Green Hills of Earth and the Future History stories omnibus The Past Through Tomorrow, published in 1967. It (and the titular story) was read by Leonard Nimoy on a 1978 spoken word album entitled The Green Hills of Earth.

Plot

Spoiler Warning: Plot details and/or information about the ending follow. If you wish to enjoy the work first, stop reading here and return at another time.

Jack Arnold, a newspaper reporter from Earth, visits the underground construction site of Luna City in the Moon. As a couple workmen show him through the newly dug and insulated tunnels, a moonquake strikes, sealing the men inside.

A tiny leak, no larger than a pea, develops at floor level in the protective wall of the tunnel. The men attempt to seal it, but the sealant they use dries up quickly and is useless. The men fear they are doomed as the air inexorably leaks away.

An off-hand, off-color comment by one of the men serves as a sudden inspiration. They take turns removing their trousers and sealing the hole with the fleshy fat of their buttocks. Jack Arnold, after a turn sealing the hole, is able to go for help in the single working spacesuit. The story ends with Jack and the men, alive and well, save for severe blood-bruising on their buttocks, having a laugh as they lie facedown on their hospital beds.